Day 7

Seven, doesn't that mean completion? Random thought. Today, I was actually really carefree. No extra little babies to take of, (just my own sweet little one) Sushi for dinner tonight, got to talk to my brother on the phone. Ya, today was just good. I enjoyed today and felt really carefree. So today I'm just going to say Thank you. Thank you, God, for my family, my friends, for today! Oh yes, and for Sushi! Love you all! Till tomorrow.

Day 6 (insights)

So today was interesting. I was watching two little two-month-olds as well as my toddler. To say today was difficult would be putting it mildly. But hey, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right? At least that's how I felt. I felt like I was doing an intense endurance work-out. Anyways, mostly I felt like God was helping me today. I felt like He was helping me look for, see, and understand the tender mercies that He gives me. I honestly feel like that's what I do when I focus on the positive. I feel like I'm trying to see what God has been doing for me. I know this is a small thing but it helped me stay sane; the babies eating schedules didn't coincide. So I was able to feed one baby and hold my girl and then feed the next baby and still pay attention to my girl. That's how God helped me today.
I want to point out one more thing that I learned about positive thinking. Negative thinking is a habit, a bad habit, but still a habit. I had hard wired my brain to think negatively. Now in order to combat this bad habit I have to rewire my brain (my very thought processes) to think positively. Sounds a little overwhelming, doesn't it? Well I think it does. But I do know that through God all things are possible. That and a lot of patience and persistence.
Today has made me very thoughtful, because I kept catching myself thinking negatively. It wasn't just about one thing, either. It was about everything. Then I would start feeling discouraged about thinking negatively and think badly about myself. That's when I had to just say to myself: Anna, focus on the good. I'm not perfect at this but I am learning a lot. Thanks for ya'll for reading! Love you all.

Day 5

I was very cranky today. I guess you could say that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. To be honest I was beating myself up about, until I read a post on my blog about giving yourself a little leniency in allowing yourself to be human. What?! I don't have to be perfect?! No, I don't. I believe that I do need to be perfect through Christ. But I also believe that in so doing that, that I need to forgive myself for my little imperfections and inconsistencies. Here's an example: I have started to wean baby girl. Let me tell you right now that, it is DIFFICULT! Especially when she's teething and super clingy. There are some days, like today, when I just feel like running away and hiding from the world. But I didn't. I did, however, worry about her eating enough, but she did. She went to bed happy, she's growing, and she is definitely not starving to death. I'd say that's a pretty much mission accomplished. With a child, I'm really learning not to let the little things get to me. It's a process.
I do have to say that I think I solved my baby girl's jealousy problem. (thanks to my wise mother) I had my baby hold the other baby on her lap while we read books together. It worked like a charm. It was positive and it lightened my day. Oh yes, and it's raining! I love the rain! Till tomorrow. Love you all

Day 4

So today was long. I think days always feel longer when you're in physical pain, don't you? Anyways, baby girl was acting ornery all day, Andre was driving me crazy, I woke up with a headache, and the little baby I was watching today screamed at me all day. So yes today was lovely. I came across an article about an experiment and it sounds unbelievable but at the same time it makes sense. I think it's very relevant here. Dr. Masaru Emoto, is a Japanese researcher who conducted an experiment using water, rice, and positive and negative thoughts. He wanted to prove that human thought and emotion effects the environment around them. Here's the link on his experiment: http://themindunleashed.org/2014/01/scientific-proof-thoughts-intentions-can-alter-physical-world-around-us.html.

I honestly agree with his conclusion. What we think and feel does have an effect on the world around us; directly and indirectly. We reap what we sow. So yes even though, I had (what I thought) to be a bit of a bad day, I didn't have to act upon it. Sometimes, yes I get angry, yes I get upset, yes I am human. That's ok! It's ok to feel those emotions. What isn't ok, is to act upon them. So that's what I focused on today. Even though, I was upset, I focused on acting differently. No, I didn't just bottle up my emotions to let them sit and simmer till they boiled over like I usually do. Instead, I vented them out to my husband (I thank God every day for him) and then just left them there. I didn't re-contemplate what made me upset or why, I just let them go. Because they didn't matter. They were small and insignificant things that just didn't not matter. So now I'm going to focus on all the good things that did happen today. Like when I got to talk to my mom and about how she has been, and when I talked to my sister. Those were both good things. My baby girl, entertained me when she decided to play with her stuffed animals in her circus tent, happily squealing the entire time. And lastly, when my husband gave me some chocolate (it was very much needed, and it was dark). All these good things happened to me today and I am grateful for them. Love you all, till tomorrow!

Day 3

Monday. . .  During the week I babysit for a 2 month old every day for about 5 hours. She really is very cute but she can also be a little screamer. Those are the days that are hard. Well today she was actually really good. She slept about the entire time she was here. It was my little baby who was jealous and was making things difficult. On top of that she was cranky because she's teething.  But I have an amazing husband because as soon as he got home he cleaned up our place and took our baby girl just so that I could have some to calm down. Sure it was super small, but it meant a lot. Lately, he's been rearranging the apartment and so our home looks like a tornado struck it. But he's also been working on it even when he has a migraine. So there you go: today I'm grateful for my husband and the small things that he does. Love ya all!

Day 2

So today was sunday. sigh. . . It was long. For anyone who does not know, I am LDS. (Yes I am a Mormon and yes I go to church for 3 hours on Sunday) I also teach the junior class in primary. (3-7yrs) It's not exactly the easiest class to teach but it can be very insightful. Today's lesson was on following Christ. Piece of cake, right? Wrong. The kids were exceptionally rowdy today and with a whole 30 minutes that I still needed to fill I was about ready to pull my hair out. But then something extraordinary happened: I pulled out some pictures of Christ and started looking at them and then one after the other, the children started looking at them with me (with the exception of one small boy who was talking to his crayon). By this time I was looking at a picture were Christ calms the seas:

 That's when one of the girls turns to me and asks "what's happening in this picture?"
A whole discussion opened about Jesus! For the next 30 minutes that's all we talked about and it was amazing! The children were captivated as I told story after story and answered question after question about my Savior. We talked about how He raised Lazurus from the dead, how He will come again, and of course the stormy sea. They all decided to draw pictures of themselves standing next to Christ. I felt so amazed. It truly is the littlest things that make the biggest difference in our lives. I would also dare to venture that it is how we choose to act with what we're given and with how we deal with things that make those little things seem so big. Anyways, I'm just so grateful for the insights of small children. I learn a lot from them when I listen. Till tomorrow! Love you all!

Day 1

Sheesh, for me this really is a challenge. I never realized how much I focused on the negative till I decided to go for the positive. Well today I went down to my sister's for a shopping trip to the mall with our mom and a couple other siblings. Sounds fun, eh? Well that's what I thought, especially since my husband was going to be gone all day at work. Who wants to stay home by themselves? Not me! Well this "fun trip" included a hour long train ride down to Provo and then back up again to  Murray. And with a 1-year-old. . .Well let's just say you stay on your toes. But it actually wasn't that bad. To be honest my baby girl was the silver lining in my rain cloud day. On the train ride she was quick to point out everything we passed and ask "what's that?". Her face is always so full of wonder with every new thing she encounters. I'm amazed by her intelligence. 

          Well after shopping and all that jazz, I came home to my over-stressed, over-exhausted husband. I have a problem  where I'm not like most wives. When my husband gets this way I usually get annoyed. Yes, I know, I am a very selfish person. But it was OK because once again my baby girl led the way. As soon as he walked in the door she let out a squeal of delight and raced for him. I am just amazed at how, regardless of circumstances and hardship, my baby has a huge amount of love inside that tiny body of hers that she gives to everyone, but especially her dad. That's when I ask myself, well if my one year old can do it, why can't I? To continue with my baby girl's cuteness my husband went and fell asleep in her indoor tent (yes the tent is that big and my goofy husband likes to try and fit himself into small spaces). So she followed him into the tent and jumped on him the entire time he was asleep until he went out of the tent. 

      You know, with writing this entry, I realize that most of my day was really good, it was just small little inconveniences that made me think my day was bad. That's dumb. Anyways, I'm very happy to say that to end the day my husband and I went to the temple. It was very much needed. 

      Love you all! Thanks for your feedback.

Experiment

So ever since I started blogging I've been really struggling with it. I'm a very closed off person and struggle to communicate to the rest of the world what I'm thinking or feeling. I guess I'm mostly scared of being vulnerable to everyone else. That's a mainly a trust issue. But with this point of view I've realized that I'm also a very negative person. I'm very judgemental  and I WANT TO CHANGE! So starting today I'm starting a 365 day experiment. The point of this experiment is for me to change to a positive, loving person. (It helps to blog about it because it holds me accountable) So here's what I'm going to do. Everyday I'm going to set aside some time and talk about my day, how it went and blah blah blah. But with that I'm going to make an effort to point out things that were positive that  happened that day. So as my reader, please feel free to give me any pointers and tips. They will be very much appreciated.